How to Deal with Back to School Anxiety

Back-to-school is an enjoyable, exciting time as it includes the excitement of buying new clothes, shoes, and supplies. It's fun to think about what the new school year will entail when it comes to information and experiences. For others, returning to school can bring with it fear of the unknown, struggle, rejection and a whole bunch of anxiety. The question being asked, is why? Some reasons are more obvious and predictable as to why returning to school can be anxiety inducing. There are the pressures of homework, projects, and grades. Then there is the social pressure of school which includes friends, being popular or liked by peers, belonging, and bullying. These pressures are not necessarily new or groundbreaking. So the question remains as to why going back to school causes so much anxiety in this current generation?

This isolation, although exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic, was present long before the advent of social media, streaming services, and technology as a whole making their experience much different than their parents. School aged children are living in a digital world that has completely changed their social interactions and experiences, which in turn has made actual social interactions anxiety producing. Although social media and technology are a major part of the problem, they aren't the only contributor. There are other reasons why going back to school and school, in general, are causing so much anxiety. Changes in a few areas can help reduce stress and give your child the best start to relieve anxiety.

• Social media. Prolonged engagement in social media for school age children can be damaging. It changes not only their social interactions but their cognitive processing. Parents or caregivers have the ability to limit certain access to social media. Including the amount of screen time, and restrictions on the types of apps being used and accessed. Children are living in a different world, but it doesn't mean it has to control and allow it to fully absorb their lives. Setting structured limits on internet use can be helpful in dealing with their anxiety or fears, and not continue to exacerbate it.
• Environment. One's environment is important. If you are constantly in a stressful environment, you are going to be stressed. Take a scan of your child's environment and see if anything might be causing anxiety. It can be simple things like lighting and smells, and unorganized cabinets/living space. Be attuned to your child's needs and personality throughout the day and make note of those that cause anxiety. Small changes in their environment can be a big change in reducing anxiety.
• Break in routine. The summer is a time for rest, relaxation, and a reset from the busy school year. It's also a time when many children's schedules become dysregulated. Everyone does better physically and mentally with a routine. Returning to school and back to routine can cause anxiety after there has been a significant break from that norm. Parents or caregivers can help by keeping a similar routine over the summer as they do during the school year. Enlist your child in making a schedule that includes both fun and healthy routines during the summer. Come up with a basic routine to make the transition back to school a smoother, less anxious one.
• Fear of the unknown. Returning to school and for some, in-person learning, can be scary. It's a big place, it's loud, and there are lots of new faces, new rules, and tons of pressures. Year to year, children never know what to expect or what will happen. This is even moreso for children transitioning from kindergarten to 1st grade, elementary to middle school and middle school to high school. Reassuring a child about what to expect year to year can help relieve those stresses. You can have other family members, peers, siblings, and school teams talk to them about their personal experiences. Knowledge is power, the more they know, the less they might fear.
• Lack of activity. Children spend a lot of time playing video games, watching YouTube, and on social media. This leaves little room for in-person activities and friendships. As children become more homebound and primarily ideal, social activities such as team sports, clubs, and camps decline. Set activities built into daily and weekly schedules. Research has shown the benefits of exercise, but just as important are engaging in social activities with friends or others. Keeping children physically and mentally fit will make the transition back into school easier.
• Intense bullying. Bullying and cyberbullying has become a major problem. The intensity and non-stop bullying that is happening can make anyone anxious about going to school. Building self-esteem and confidence at home can help with the impact of bullying. Speak to your children about bullying and healthy friendships. Children and parents should know who to reach out to at the school for support and how to get others involved if needed.

Lastly, when does anxiety become a bigger problem and parents or caregivers should seek professional help? Parents and caregivers know their children better than anyone else. All individuals have a baseline which means their own normal level of functioning. Get to know your own children's baseline. Now of course, children seem to change daily. Some of that change in children is part of the natural developmental process and others are problematic. If you begin to feel that something is wrong or more severe than normal development, it's something to pay attention to and explore further. Some changes to look out for are shifts in sleeping and eating patterns, increased irritability, anger, isolation, loss interest in activities once enjoyed as well as complaints of physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach distress, chest pain, panic attacks, and muscle tension. If the problems impede the child's functioning then it might be time to seek professional help by setting up an evaluation with a therapist and/or medical professional.

In saying all of this, not all anxiety is bad. Anxiety is a vital part of our survival and existence. It's impossible to run or hide from it, it's here and it's here to stay. It's a natural instinct for parents and caregivers to want to protect and shield their child from anxiety, but that isn't going to be helpful in the long run. Instead, teach your children skills to manage their anxiety. Teach them how to overcome challenges in their lives so they can persevere and become strong, successful adults.

This article was written by Andrew Bozzelli, a therapist and social worker at the Pavilion at Southern Hills Hospital and Medical Center.